7.11.11

Illumination

I can only wonder what is stuck in my tooth this time. Tonguing at it isn't seeming to do the trick, so now i am sliding the serrated edge of a plastic knife through the groove. No matter, whatever is lodged in the crevice feels no need to come out anytime soon. It would figure. Even as I poke and prod at it with toothpicks, I can still feel whatever worthless piece of crud is living between my teeth. It set up shop and is closing down the house. Not even swishing spit, water, or even soda around my mouth will dislodge it.
And to put the sugar on the cookie, I have to use the bathroom. All in all, another moment filled with inconvenience.
Then it passes, as all moments do. The frustrations that plague your consciousness one moment, the next are nothing but a blip. A star in the sky unnoticed, not even important enough to light your way. A thousand of these stars, however...
A thousand small lights, a thousand events clustered together to create one stagnant light. This one light, be it dim or be it bright, illuminates your path, your destiny. It really is up to you whether that light will lead you towards greatness or towards total destruction. Sometimes, inside of this one giant light, there are more than just compilations of subtle events. Sometimes a black sun may lurk in the sea of memories, just waiting to explode. When it does, it's always catastrophic. The burst can be felt throughout all channels of consciousness, and always results in an explosion of pure emotion. Whether it be happiness, or rage... Whether it be pure unadulterated hate, or the greatest blossoming of love.
I know that myself, well, I have always been one to highlight the negative. It really doesn't help when your whole entire life everyone has been telling you so. What with disorders, habits, brain this, physical that, every day there was a new problem. A new thing wrong. A new thing to try to fix. A new pill to take. There was always something wrong.
Well, is there something wrong? Is there really something wrong? Who can know. Who can even tell one persons right from another. Who is really one to compare? In this day and age, we feel such a need, such a craving to label. For whatever reason, we cannot settle with simply being human. Many will argue that this is what makes us human, the need to constantly be something more, but I must disagree.
As Human, we were born with everything we need to survive, all we have to do is build upon it. Many people seek to master an art not designed for who they are, to gain acceptance. Even more disgustingly, a higher amount will train and strive, to simply be better. To simply be labeled as the best. But what all the foolish mortals of this planet don't realize, is that better is only temporary. Better is only a temporary thing, for without fail, someone will come along who is better than even you. The best is really only the best of your time.
Fools dwell on nothing, though, and it is always good to have a goal. It is healthy to have a passion, why, I would assume someone mad if they were not to have one. A passion, that is. What are we in this world without something to love? Something to cherish? Something to build upon and something to work at. Many people realize that something such as this does not have to be as trivial as a job. It is not necessarily a perfect body, or a perfect test score. This epic thing that will complete your life is not something material at all. It is satisfaction, simply. A job well done.
We are constantly searching for something right in front of our eyes. We are looking for our shining star, when it has been lighting our path this whole entire time. All we have to do is open our eyes and walk onward, proud and strong. Maybe your path is to help others, maybe your path is to earn lots of money. Maybe your path is to suffer, and to prevent further suffering through your own act of it. Who knows? Either way, only you can determine your path. You choose the stars you wish to make form constellation, you chose your life muses. Maybe a traumatic event will plague you and prevent you from living, or maybe it will turn your life around completely, positively.
You read your own stars, you write your own destiny. 

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